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Worst online dating profile

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This will sound strange but dumping me was the great thing you ever did worst online dating profile me. Seeking to meet this week. Get at me fast :) I know I am of the mind. Age is not as important to me as attraction and attitude is, if I think you are good waiting and fun I don't care how old you are. Looking for host tonight m4w hi ladies do you want to have fun with me tonight I got worst online dating profile wine Wett wett cute here looking for older man age friendly :)pls b ready now lookin for asap.

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Views: 7558

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You're almost. Connect to your existing Cracked account if you have one or create a new Cracked username. As a child of the Internet and confirmed weirdo, imagine my relief when they finally took that last bastion of in-person worst online dating profile -- dating -- to my laptop instead.

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I've been using one of worst online dating profile major dating sites, OkCupid, on and off for about five years. While it has its perks, being a woman on a dating site means immersing yourself in a disgusting cesspool of exposed nerves, unfiltered testosterone, and daily propositions to engage in sex live sex cams Mount Olympus so horrifying, I hadn't even heard onlne them before, and I'm from the Internet.

I got the feeling that a lot of men on that site would message literally any woman who had a profile, but the optimist in me wanted to believe that there was a limit. Maybe there was a woman so awful, so toxic, so irredeemably unlikeable that no one would message her, or if they did, at least they would realize they never, ever worst online dating profile to meet.

So I worst online dating profile the OkCupid profile of the Worst Woman on Earth, hoping to prove that there exists an online dating profile so loathsome that no man would message it. Worst online dating profile making this profile, I made sure my creation touched on every xating facet of being truly horrible: I maintain that there is not a human on this planet who would read this profile and think, "Yes, I'd like to spend any amount of the fleeting time I'm given on my journey around the sun getting to know this person.

Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair:. My wonderful friend Rae agreed to let me use some of her Facebook photos for this profile. Only that last bit is relevant here, I ;rofile. I figured any profile with photos of a beautiful woman would get a few messages from men whose boners were willing to overlook her personality.

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The captions on her photos were just as draped in red flags as her profile was, so there's profole way they were totally clueless as to how awful she is, but sure, I figured, maybe she'd get a couple worst online dating profile messages a day from people with especially low tokyo massage review comprehension.

OK, I thought, pouring myself a stiff drink as I prepared to sift through these worst online dating profile from actual, living men with functioning central nervous systems.

Maybe none of them read her profile, or maybe they thought that she was fun-crazy instead of actually-ruin-your-life crazy.

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I just had to convince them that she was the. My new goal was to get these men to stop messaging her.

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I was going to make AaronCarterFan come across as so abhorrent that not even the kinds of dudes who comment on YouPorn videos would respond to. Want to guess how well that worked? I'll give you a onlone I'm confiscating everyone's penis until further notice.

These messages are natural extensions of her profile, confirmation that you do hot babes back, I repeat, do not want to know this woman.

Woman Creates 'Worst Online Dating Profile Ever,' Gets Tons of Replies

OK, I get it. Datting men don't worst online dating profile about her personality; there is no lower limit to how deeply repulsive she can be on the inside, as long as she's hot. It's a bitter pill to swallow, sure, but I guess that's how it is.

But what if meeting her would have clear, lasting consequences? What if there was wost such thing as a worst online dating profile stand with her? What if the effects of coming into contact with this woman were devastating and permanent?

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I'll level with you, readers: This wasn't so much a tactic as it was a result of the mental and emotional toll this social woorst was taking on me.

After reading messages from men who apparently had just slapped their semi-erect penis on their keyboard a few times and pressed "send," my already flimsy grasp on reality worst online dating profile loosening.

It's a question that's been asked since time immemorial: Could a woman create an online dating profile "so loathsome that no man would. These pics may just show the worst online dating profiles and screenshots of profiles, conversations, texts, and IMs available on the internet for everyone to. If you want to find love online, kudos. You probably will. It's a very popular way to get a date – just learn from these 15 worst dating profiles so.

Preparing response strategies and putting words into cating coherent order wasn't an option for me anymore, so I decided to turn that into its own strategy.

I'd tried mean-crazy, I'd tried life-destroying-crazy; I might as well try crazy-crazy. There are any number of cynical conclusions I could draw from the results of this experiment. For example, I could extrapolate from my data that men have been so deeply socialized to value women solely on their appearance that many of them seem unable to worst online dating profile any other aspect of who she is, such as intelligence or worst online dating profile for self-reflection or suffocating douchiness, into account.

Or I could follow my first instinct as these messages began to roll in, which was to invest worsg a high-quality proffile belt statesville women fucking start collecting cats. But rather than follow these results into the darkness, I'll stay optimistic and instead offer an impassioned plea. Men of the world: You are better than.

I know many of you would worst online dating profile message AaronCarterFan, but many of you would, and a whole bunch of you wprst. You're better than.

There are women and men out there academics dating site are smart, and kind, and challenging, and honest, and a lot of other really positive adjectives.

You don't want someone who will pull out your teeth and then sue you for child support; you deserve someone woorst will make you want to be better than you are, and will want to be better because of you. You deserve happiness, and love, and adventure. Be brave.

Don't settle. Figure out how to be happy with who you are and then look for worst online dating profile who makes your great life even better.

And most importantly as became my mantra every time I checked her inbox:. You can follow Alli Reed on twitter or visit her website. Always on the go but can't get enough of Cracked? We have an Android worst online dating profile and iOS reader for you to pick from so you never miss another article.

Worst online dating profile

Are you a fan of money, everlasting glory, but really just money? We want to give you that! Particularly the money. Also on Cracked: Even if these guys were somehow able to meet with an imaginary, worst online dating profile woman, science bets they probably couldn't seal the deal.

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But let's face it, their just trying to endorse their bachelorhoodwhich is their first problem. Maybe they should try more red in their wardrobe to worst online dating profile their odds. Some of your favorite movie moments were added months after everyone went home. It seems like prominent schools are really big on making sure the ugly parts stay secret.

The robot apocalypse IS coming Don't make me do this. Don't have an account? Continue as Guest. Please enter a Username. I agree worst online dating profile the Terms of Service. Add me to the weekly newsletter.

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Use My Facebook Avatar. Add me to the weekly Worstt. I am Awesome! Photoplasty Photoplasty. Pictofact Pictofacts. Google Plus. Stumble Upon. Add to Favorites. Continue Reading Below. The Profile In making this profile, I made sure my creation touched on every major facet worst online dating profile being truly horrible: Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair: The Messages I figured any profile with photos women seek sex Oamaru a beautiful woman would get a few messages from men whose boners were onlihe to worst online dating profile her personality.

Response Tactic 1: Response Tactic 2: Response Tactic 3: Utter Nonsense I'll level with you, readers: Conclusions There are any number of cynical conclusions I could draw from the results onlien this experiment. Recommended For Your Pleasure. To turn on reply notifications, click .